斩获美国5所常青藤名校和斯坦福大学的作文—-Costco里看世界!

5 ivy-league admissions
5 ivy-league admissions–荣生留学 最新资讯 2016

今年美国大学申请已结束,数据表明大部分名校的录取率又降低了,尤其是哈佛、普林斯顿、耶鲁这些大藤名校。可是,也有一些幸运儿,却得到众多的名校青睐。来自美国一个普通高中的女孩Brittany Stinson就是今年的幸运儿。她的申请文书收到美国众多媒体的广泛关注!下面我们就分享一下她的作文,希望为大家提供可以借签和学习的地方。

今年,宾西法尼亚大学、康奈尔大学、耶鲁大学、哥伦比亚大学、达特茅斯大学共五所藤校以及斯坦福大学(今年的录取率只有4.69%,甚至比任何藤校都低)都将录取通知书发给了这个女生。她就是来自美国特拉华州一个普通高中的女生Brittany Stinson。能够得到众多名校的青睐,综合素质一定过硬,占重要角色的申请文书也一定功不可没。Brittany Stinson的写作有何独特之处?


Brittany 选择的话题:

Some students have a background, identity, interest, ortalent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incompletewithout it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

有些学生觉得自己的成长背景,身份,兴趣爱好或者某一项才能至关重要,如果不讲出来,自己的申请就不能称之为完整。如果这听起来像你,请与我们分享你的故事吧。

下面是Brittany 的文书写作:

Managingto break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubbylegs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampagingthrough Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horroras I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon sugar rocket gracefully sliced itsway through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles,looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me.Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrializedfreezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but ratherthan searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples.Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled amountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdomof Costco.

Notoriousfor its oversized portions and dollar fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apexof consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cartto when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco hasendured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper,I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon agenerously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame.Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote theircarts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weightless supplements.Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sourcream? Was cultured yogurt any more well-mannered than its unculturedcounterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.

Whileenjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the ‘allbeef’ goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes andinfinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motionof said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from aspeedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated thephilosophical: If there exists a thirty-three ounce jar of Nutella, do wereally have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing ashopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia’s workings. With a cartfilled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit,continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cartescaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52” plasma screen TVand all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to aconversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson’s controversiality.There was no questioning Old Hickory’s dedication; he was steadfast in hisbeliefs and pursuits – qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his moralswere crooked. We both found the ham to be more likeable–and tender.

Iadopted my exploratory skills, fine tuned by Costco, towards my intellectualendeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo chicken dip or chocolate truffles, Iprobed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of theideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both sillyand serious. I sampled calculus, cross country running, scientificresearch, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, Ido what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it bethrough attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiationusing astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, Iam compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest.

Myintense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; thisis what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiositywithin me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, Ifind it difficult to complacently accept the “what”; I want to hunt for the “whys”and dissect the “hows”. In essence, I subsist on discovery.

作者与大家分享的是自己从小在Costco超市购物的场景。Costco是美国一所普通的连锁批发型超市。

Costco

 

这篇文章最大的特点,是通过人们最熟知的普通生活细节展现写作者从小的观察和探求精神,她从日常生活细节进行了自由意志、物理惯性以及对政治人物的评价。特别是这种观察和探求使她拓展到超市以外的生活的方方面面,充分展现了写作者强烈的求知欲以及日后研究的潜力,以及她鲜活的个性。

不少同学文书写作的内容非常高大上,面面俱到,这显然不是一个好的选择。见微知著,从细微处或一个小的事件着手,在轻描淡写中延伸到了大世界,文风非常连贯,是一种值得学习的写作风格。
这篇文章全篇有一明一暗两条线,明线是Costco 超市购物,暗线是对新事物的好奇心和对世界的探索。由一个引人入胜的场景描写开头,从小处慢慢画出故事框架。结尾更是给人以一种积极向上的引导,难怪得到众多录取委员的青睐。
最后,在这里通过Brittany 跟大家分享一个文书写作的技巧和思路—-“BeforeI even started writing an essay, I read a quote from an admissions officer thatsaid if your essay is on the ground and there is no name on it and one of yourfriends picks it up, they should know that you wrote it,” she said.”I used that to help guide me.”

“在我还没有开始写作的时候,从一个录取官那里读到一段话: 如果你的作文不慎掉在了地上,文章并没有署名,而你的一个朋友恰好捡到了,他应该知道这就是你写的。这段话是帮助我构思写作的指导纲领。” 由此也可以看出,申请文书最重要的特质就是:独特和真实。

 

 

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